Description
Diary entry for 30.01.2024 in chapter 1.
**30.01.2024**
**23:30 Basel, Klybeckstrasse**
Sami and Julie have been invited to a friend's birthday in Zurich on Saturday. They asked me if I wanted to come, too. And I'm thinking of saying yes. Because I want to see him. I want to see him again. I want to see his face. I want to know what he's thinking when he looks at me. I want to know if there is still the same attraction I felt. I've been thinking a lot about the situation with the kiss. I really really really really really really really really don't want him to think that I was repulsed by the kiss. I feel like such a weirdo. I did say no, after all. And I feel like such a weirdo because I don't want anyone else to know that I fancy him. I feel like such a weirdo for feeling so inexperienced and not knowing how to kiss and all that. I want to be normal. I want to be like every one else. But I guess I'm not. And I wonder how he thinks of me. I wonder if he thinks I'm weird. I wonder if he is a little scared of me like some of my other friends. I wonder if he thinks im asexual like Martin. I wonder if he thinks im not interested because of the kissing. A I wonder so much. I guess I'll find out soon. And I'll have a talk with Martin about the kiss. Because I'm annoyed with myself. And I'm annoyed with myself for feeling sexy when I'm on the phone with Martin. I'm annoyed with myself for liking that way too much.
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